(Read in heavy British accent)
July 28, 2022
Dearest Jonathan,
I do hope this letter finds you well. I am as well as one can be with my husband still away on business and the children are running amok. Three of our young pups have caught ill and two have already passed on. There is Slim hope for the last. I only hope the two elder males stay healthy.
I received a telegram this past Tuesday from my dear friend Nicole. Her message was as stated, "Fucking Shit" After gasping and clicking my pearls at such strong language I strolled over to the telegraph office. I sent a response asking "What??"
I then received communications from dear young Nicole. She explains in great detail of spending holiday frolicking about the wilderness with her new male suitor and a community of heathens partaking of earthly fruits. Her suitor Michael, brought along his son, Noble for the festivities. Nicole became concerned when Noble's mother arrived at the same event. One evening as it was becoming late and the sun descending, young Noble went to prepare his quarters for the night. Nicole soon realized that Noble's mother had cornered the young man like a rabbit. Taking it upon herself to eavesdrop on a mother-son conversation. Nicole hears his mother tell her son how pleased she is that Nicole is the one Michael chose and that she understands how important and powerful Nicole is within the community.
After the events of the long weekend, Nicole was feeling extremely disconnected from Michael and felt that they needed to properly mate. She and Michael went off to her little Oasis in the woods. They both stripped and became as bare as the day they were born. They prepared the bed for the night, talked for hours till Nicole's eyes became heavy with sleep. She drifted off to an alternate dimension where she woke on a waterfront land pinned down by an unseen force. A demon she tells me. She does not feel pain, fear or threatened in any way while it has its way with her. The deed being done, She finds herself alone and hungry like a vampire hunting her prey, spots a human at the shoreline. She begins her sprint only to be woken by Michael's protruding erection against her back. That of a husband, he performs his duties. She then tells me that she is now concerned that she may become in a family way and that she always becomes pregnant after dreaming of fornicating with demons.
I personally have become concerned that dear Nicole has been drinking contaminated well water for far too long. Perhaps spoiled grain? Well, dear Jonathan, I shall leave for now and await your next correspondence.
Yours truly,
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