John, 3/19/2023
So, the other day while I was at work I had six people come in and expected to have patches sewn on their shirts. The lady from the office next door came over and wanted me to Frankenstein her son's badge sash and put on thirteen badges before she had to leave. Meanwhile I'm having to sew for other customers and ring them up. To make matters worse, I kept looking at the wrong fucking clock. Time change! Well,I didn't finish putting on the badges before she came back. She told me that was fine she would bring it back for me to finish with more to put on. Whatever. Two days later she comes back with awards and badges. She tells me that she is sorry that her son's shirt smells so bad. She laughs and says that everyone laughs when they get to a "scout is clean." Look, I am no stranger to smelly teenage boys. I have raised two of my own, had two brothers, you, and all my cousins. Not to mention that I have been a leader for eleven years. So, when I say this shirt was foul. I mean it had never been washed! It smelt like it had five years of summer camp and every event in between on it. If they had a cat missing, the fucking shirt ate it! It had become an entity all on its own. It was hell and the devil resided there. My eyes burned. I was glad I was the only one in the store because I couldn't stop gagging. I thought out of desperation to find the air freshener and sprayed the shirt. It did not help. I sent a text to my manager in Atlanta and told her it felt like a day to quit my job. Before I would bring this shirt to someone to sew, I would have lit a match to it, Invoked any God, gods, goddesses that would make the demon go away. What kind of mom would want to be embarrassed by bringing someone’s dirty laundry. It had been sitting on his mother's shirt and started to make that smell. I had another customer's sash next to his shirt and it started to smell.
My store manager has returned from being out after heart surgery. Yeah, it's been a rough few days. The first day was a bunch of backhanded compliments. "Oh, I'm so proud of you guys. You did such a good job, but…." Then a long list of things we didn't do right. Mostly nit picking shit that only she cares about. She went through all 200 something emails from the past three months. And then she wants to ask me if I read them and knew about this and that. Then she went through the numbers in the computer and because she wasn't the one doing it, it wasn't right. Then she badgered me into doing my expenses report. I had already told our district manager I wasn't worried about ten dollars a month when I spent more than that in gas each day getting back and forth to home and work.
We have a bunch of outdated and discontinued products that we have to pull off the shelf before inventory. That being said we only got the go-ahead last week and since we knew she would be back in a few days. We waited. Holy shit, day two was spent removing 16 pages worth of product off the shelves. Day three was her telling me how to do shit as if I had not done it in the past year and a half. Day four was her telling us how to do shit on the computer to take things out of Inventory then going back a double checking to make sure we had taken it out of inventory. The kicker is we have until April 15th to have it done!!!! If it wasn't for Mr. Blinky Insisting I have a job I would have quit already!
OK new subject. You know mom has been talking about getting an apartment for a while. Well, she said she has found one. It's a 2 bedroom and Uncle J. Bird will be moving with her. Now I have to find the time to go over and get stuff I have no room for. I do want the Picture albums. I'm sure there's pictures you would like to have too. She has like 8 sewing machines and a shit-ton of other stuff that she wants us to have.
So, if Kinetic hasn't already told you in a letter. We did go on a day hike. It was great. We had a good time walking up the trails. We got to the creek and I was like, I'm going to fall in that and get my shoes wet. So I took off my shoes and socks. Now this creek wasn't very wide, so why not just go ahead and throw my shoe across, right? While Kinetic is making her way across I throw my shoe. Now, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen myself but this tree jumped out of nowhere and slapped my shoe into the water. I'm like hey Kinetic, could you catch my shoe as it floats by? While trying to stay balanced on a wet rock, she starts stabbing at my shoe with her treck poll screaming profanities and a few what the fucks I'm sure I heard from her head. She saves my very wet shoe. I clutched my other shoe while I crossed. Then I hiked barefoot to a small area by the creek. While she boiled water for our coffee, I wrung out my soaking wet sock and laid it in the sun. After our coffee was done Kinetic thought it might help if we put my sock in her small pot and dry it out some. Unfortunately, my sock was not cotton or wool. So now I have a nice hole in my sock. We finished our snacks and coffee. So then we started back. I walked for a little bit then put on my wet shoe and sock. We had fun. Well, I'll end it here and await you response. Till next time, may the force be with you and may the odds be ever in your favor.
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