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Juanita Myers

Letters to John #3

 John,                                        10/3/2022


   I was glad that we were able to talk on the phone the other night. Proof of Life. Anyway, we got on the subject of our mother's. My mom has recently decided that since she has never lived by herself that she is going to get an apartment. Part of this is due to her landlord hasn't realized just how ill mom and Uncle J.Bird really are and expecting them to do more around the house than they can. Mom's dementia is getting worse and her kidneys are starting to shut down. Keyword (starting). 

  Mom called me up one day out of the blue. When I answered the phone, the first thing out of her mouth was "How much money does Mr. Blinky make a month?" Why??? Her plan was to get this fancy apartment that had a lake around it. It was, I'm sure, more than $1,000 a month. She wanted Mr.Blinky to co-sign. She has this idea that her insurance is going to pay for a full-time nurse to come live with her. She's on government assistance.🤦‍♀️ 

 The night she called your mom and left the message of her crying, she had been googling her test results from her urinalysis. They have this thing now called a MyChart. It's where you can go online and look at your medical chart. You can see all your prescriptions, test results, Etc, Etc. The Doctor had told her she needed mom to come in as soon as possible, but she couldn't find anyone to take her till today. I didn't know this the other night when she called wanting to know what I was doing the next day. Working! Anyway…. She wanted me to take her to look at this long list of Apartments. Then she asked if I had talked to Shecca the night before. I asked if she was okay and mom acted all cryptic and was like "Oh, she's fine." Now, I was concerned about Shecca. Mom gets all weepy on me and tries to get off the phone. Now, I'm getting pissed. What is wrong? My mistake😕.  Mom starts to tell me that she is dying and her kidneys have completely shut down and it won't be long now. She wants to see Little Man before she dies, and I need to come get all my stuff (her shit that she wants to pass to me). Jesus Fucking Christ. I'm unaware that Shecca is in the other room hearing this whole conversation while trying to cook dinner for her and mom. After getting off the phone with me, she goes into the kitchen. J. Bird are also there. They get into an argument. Mom is mad that we won't let her drive her car to the store to get the things that she thinks she needs. And J. Bird told her she can't drive because she's not stable. Mom's response was I guess they will make it mandatory since my kidneys have shut down. J.Bird yells it's already mandatory! Meanwhile, Shecca is ready to kill them both with a hot frying pan.😂🤣😂🤣 I can't make this shit up! Fuck me🤦‍♀️… this is the ending I refuse to have!!! 

The whole month of September was just shit.

But I heard that the planets were in retrograde. Popular cop-out.🤔


   I had a good talk with your mom. She's funnier after her meds kick in, but at her age, I told her she had no more fucks to give and I completely understand that. 🤷‍♀️


I came into work today and my manager decided to clean under the counters. This means me cleaning under the counters. There was so much dust and dirt, I found a mummy, a lost temple of the Greek Pantheon, and a pyramid. It was so funny. I shouted "Oh my God!" 

She was like "What!😳" 

I said, "I found a mummy!"

After I pulled my lard ass out of the hole I was in and looked at her, she was bent over laughing. Then she took a picture of me laying on the floor. I looked like a beached whale. Then she sent it to our manager in Atlanta along with another picture of me on my knees, on top of the counter bent over the printer with my wide ass in the air. Not nice.🤦‍♀️😕😔 Then our manager promise not to post in on Facebook. For fuck sake! Please DON'T!! Till next time


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